not the day we thought we would have…

yesterday dakota and i had the day off together… thanks for the many happy anniversary wishes – i am a lucky lucky woman!

we did not, unfortunately, have the kind of day we thought we might…

– went to doc to do bloods and see what my progesterone level is (they never called to tell me if it indicated i HAD or had NOT ovulated)

– while at the docs, the insurance gals told us that my primary insurance company had rejected (after pre-authorizing) my last iui. we don’t even know what that means… they pre-authorized – doesn’t that mean they had already decided it was covered??? so far they have paid the bills, so the insurance gals don’t know if maybe they got their wires crossed and it is covered…

– also, while at the docs, the insurance gals told me that dakota’s insurance sent them a letter rejecting her ivf (which you will remember THEY pre-authorized) WTF?? this one is even more scary – and more expensive if they now renig. the reason they gave was because we are same sex. they said they made a mistake when the pre-authorized. mind you, i am also covered on this insurance plan because the ALLOW SAME SEX DOMESTIC PARTNERS TO BE COVERED!!! this one is clearly gonna require even more fight from the insurance gals and then from us as well. (what is the likelihood that BOTH insurance companies would pick this week to fuck with us??)

– when we stopped to get lunch, i got a call from my bosses who have been meeting daily behind closed doors to determine the fate of our company given the world wide financial crisis… the upshot is that they are restructuring my job, taking away some of my responsibilities (mainly the managing/buffering from the bosses of most of the team) and cutting my salary by a hefty 15% salary cut.

mostly the day SUCKED, SUCKED, SUCKED!

on the plus side…

– we had gluten-free pizza at mozzerelli’s and it was AWESOME

– i got to be in the car with my sweetie at my side when i learned all the bad and ugly from my bosses. helped to have her there…

– i did not have to go back to my desk and pretend like the whole company is not about to explode – i am the first person they talked with, so it will be few days till the rest of them know the hell we are about to go in to…

– i got to be, once more, amazed that the love i have in my life with my sweet wife makes it possible to get through even the shittiest day thankful for all i have.


15 Responses

  1. Oh my. I’m sorry for all the shit. Sorry, sorry, sorry. But glad you were with your sweet wife when it all went down. So looking forward to meeting you!

  2. Oh no, that’s not the day off you were supposed to have! The insurance crap is insane and the salary cut is also insane. I’m so sorry you have to deal with that garbage. But I hope the pizza and love smoothed it all a bit. Hugs.

  3. I’m so sorry that your day off together was so rough. I’m glad that the two of you got to be together to soak it all in though!!


  4. Wow, what a crap day. I am really sorry you got all of that bad news. Insurance can be such a nightmare! I wonder if there is any angle you can take about how Dakota has this insurance through her employer, the City, and there is are City and State non-discrimination policies and City policy stating that same sex partners must be treated the same as heteros. I’m not sure in insurance comapny would care, but maybe her employer could advocate for her. I don’t know, just a thought.

    I am glad you can still see the good things despite all the challenges.

  5. Okay, wow, that is not how that was supposed to go! When’s the do-over scheduled?

  6. Oh my goodness, what a craptastic day. I’m so sorry you are having to go through all kinds of insurance dramas. I just don’t get it.
    I hope that you two are planning for another ‘day’ to celebrate and you certainly need it1

  7. Shit, shit, shit!! I am so sorry that your day was so crummy. But you are right– it makes all the difference in the world to go through this stuff with someone you love right beside you. I am hoping that things only get better from here– hang in there.

  8. Oh goddess what a completely craptastic day indeed. I am so sorry. The insurance issues are simply so un-fucking-fair!!!!!!

    Sending many healing thoughts that this shit gets resolved.

  9. OMG I feel ENRAGED at your insurance companies… Is that a way to treat 2 fab gals on their anniversary? I THINK NOT!!!!

    I hope this gets resolved fast and painlessly so you can carry on with your journey to mommydom…

    Thinking of you galz…

  10. Shit! Oh man, that sucks about your job. And the insurance company too. Ug. I’m so sorry.

  11. Wow, that wasn’t a pleasant day. I’m so angry about your insurance company fiasco. Their incompetence is stressful even to your readers. It will be resolved – keep working on them. Thankfully, you have each other to lean on right now. Take care of each other!

  12. Damn! I am sorry that you had such a shitty day. That sucks. It sounds like your insurance may have the same medical standards that mine does with regards to IVF and IUI for same sex couples but the difference is that you were pre-approved and I am pretty sure that they have to honor that. Once the billing office has a pre-approval, I don’t think they can reverse the decision. Let me know if you want to chat. xo

  13. I HATE insurance companies. What a terrible day you two had!

    Yay for happy anniversaries and good pizza, and yay for you for keeping your perspective.

    Fingers are crossed you get some resolution soon on the billing stuff. Blech.

  14. Ow that does suck. I’m sorry. Thank god for pizza, even though that is only a small comfort. If you work for a big employer you might be able to pressure them (or have them pressure insurance) since it seems your employer can’t discriminate in benefits. What an unfair hassle. Good luck!

  15. Sorry to hear about the insurance. Just another way we are discriminated against! But I lurked because I want to say:

    Let’s fight back on Proposition 8. Let’s boycott California wines, produce and travel. Let’s publicize it. Let’s embarrass them. It worked a few years ago in Colorado. What do say?

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