three things that are sucking right now…

1) seems i have asthma… about a month ago i started having this feeling in my chest that i had a lot when i was little… i called it being waterlogged back then. i used to have the feeling mostly when i swam too long in my grandmother’s pool or in the ocean. i would also have it on smog alert days (we had a lot of those in the 70s and 80s in SoCal) and sometimes at other times i assumed must be bad smog days. it hurts 😦

never thought of it as asthma… even with the cold burning feeling in my throat and chest when i would run as a kid… did i mention that i just decided NOT to run? really, i never run.

ANYWAY, the feeling came crushing in on me about a month ago and when i went to the doc about it, ASTHMA! bet you didn’t know that you can have wheeze-free asthma. we are trying to find meds to get it under control, so far a week and a half of stuff that sucks. got some new stuff today to try. working to find solutions that will get me through the crisis and ready to get pregnant, and that will not negatively effect said pregnancy.

2) i am on birth control (to keep me in limbo) until my primary insurance officially rejects my ivf request in writing so that we can pass the request to our secondary insurance that should cover the costs… fingers crossed and crossed again. please please please don’t screw us o insurance company! and don’t delay tooooo long that we end up in a bad way for this cycle.

3) more about the birth control, the thing is that i am nauseous 24/7 from the pills and have had a migraine 3 or the last 4 days i have been on the pills. i woke with one the other day for the first time ever. i have them with my periods often, but never as bad as the one i had taking these damn pills. did i mention that i am a total canary in a coal mine? if the little pills are screwing with me this much, the shots are gonna kick my ass big time.

these things are sucking, and frightening me a bit too 😦 tell me i’m gonna be able to pull this getting pregnant thing off, will ya??


6 Responses

  1. Mulberry, I know you feel. Well, not about the asthma but about everything else. Birth control pills suck big time. I had to take them once because I had a cyst and I feel irritable and nauseous. I don’t know who women take them all the time. I couldn’t do it. Health insurance is always a nightmare; I’ve been there. When I first started this journey I was a delicate flower too. Now, I can inject myself in the stomach in ten minutes or less and keep moving. I am very motivated. And is seems like you are too. Keep the faith. xo

  2. Ah, this sounds like a rough week of things that suck. I’m so sorry.
    We will reschedule, but I’m still trying to find a good time–so busy right now.

  3. I have asthma too – have had it for about twenty years, but I mostly relied on rescue inhalers until college, when I had a serious attack and almost died. After that, I started taking preventative asthma medication, and my life has been forever changed for the better – I really can’t understand how I moved through the world for all those years without it. Drop me a line if you want to talk more about meds (I definitely have my favorites) or asthma control during pregnancy etc. – I’ve done a lot of research on this issue and there are lots of options for folks like us. It will all be ok, I promise.

  4. Which bcp are you on? They should be able to try a few different to get the one that gives the least side effects, seriously. Yasmin, or a micro mini pill, sometimes they even do an estrogen only pill.

    I hop eit gets better soon.

  5. Sometimes life is just one big ouch. You know what though, life will heal and you will become a rockin mom.

  6. Oh no! So sorry you’ve been hit with this triple whammy. Take care of you.

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