the joys of tracking two cycles :) and exploring new terrain

two little clearblue montitors sit on our dresser, side by side… mine has a small sticker on it that translates the time to pacific time, for my trip to CA – i am leaving in 3 days. i am excited that we are about to start down the trail to harvesting dakota’s eggs. don’t quite get yet how we are supposed to get me in sync with her, but one thing at a time i guess. the day after i get back from CA should be day2 of dakota’s period and time to start shots and other meds. good news is that i will be home to cheer her on while she gives herself the evil shots and to enjoy the mood swings that will likely follow 😉

while i am in CA (after i finish my work events) i will visit with my parents for a week. i am looking forward to spending some time with them. they are very excited that they may be grandparents in the next year (hope, hope). they had given up on that possibility years ago. my younger sister is also queer and she and her long time partner (my sister-out-law) are not interested in having kids, though they are keen on having nieces and/or nephews. as for me, i never gave up on the desire to have kids, but i did spend the last 15 years, or so, focusing my energies on community organizing. it did not seem like there was room for a family, so i didn’t think about it. over the last 6 years i have been shifting things around to make room for this piece of my life i had put on hold. i am excited to be in the thick of pursuing making a family (the most important part being that dakota and i found each other – yay!), and at the same time, as i make even more shifts, it is kind of hard and unsettling to be in such a new place in regards to what was so central to my life before. it is good i think, just such a different terrain.


5 Responses

  1. Just recently found your blog. So relieved to find this post. I, too, was all work until recently and am struggling with the transition. Guilt over leaving my social activism career (abroad). Also guilt over having waited too long to have kids, even though I know that is unproductive (the guilt). Anyway, thanks for your post.

  2. Thanks for sharing this post. The line ” i make even more shifts, it is kind of hard and unsettling to be in such a new place in regards to what was so central to my life before. it is good i think, just such a different terrain.” really spoke to me. I have a really supportive husband, however there are some decisions and choices only I can make. I recently started feeling that I am tired of “waiting” and am ready to make shifts in my life and take a break from school and career development to begin the scary shot regimen that I put off before.I am ready to become the mother of a human child. I wish you both all the luck in the world and may everything go extremely well.

  3. Oh yeah, I waited a long time, too. There was my work, her work, her MBA, my time out of the country…it all added up to years and years. But now you have found your soulmate and you’re getting down to business. It’s all good times from here!

  4. New beginnings are always exciting. I look forward to reading about your cycles.Let’s hear it for soulmates. How beautiful. xo

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